Post by eljoe on Feb 20, 2012 8:34:14 GMT
One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Kishore Singh." Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered,"No! No! I am Kishore Singh!
A third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." Kishore slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid,idiot.Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
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A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Singh thought for a few! minutes and answered...
1.. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2.. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
----------------------------------------------------
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching the Star World channel'
How does he know that?"
-----------------------------------------------
Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an airplane in the United States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed "The runway is ending!". The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the pilot screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending!"
The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again. During their fourth descent the pilot says:
"Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge, expensive airport but with such a short runaway", "I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made it."
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Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A surprised passer-by saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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Once a Singh was travelling in a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train Rs20 to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for Rs 20,the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Singh fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Singh was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw himself in the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" He replied "The cheat on the train has taken my Rs 20 and woken up someone else".
----------------------------------------------------
Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went into fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. At the next railway station the driver was arrested He was found to be a Singh. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc. The authorities questioned Mr. Singh are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over. Singh said : That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.
-----------------------------------------------
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The in vigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says," it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.
---------------------------------------------
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ?" First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying & screaming. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
---------------------------------------------
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?" To this the man replies, "Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".
A third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." Kishore slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid,idiot.Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
--------------------------------------------------
A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Singh thought for a few! minutes and answered...
1.. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2.. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.
----------------------------------------------------
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching the Star World channel'
How does he know that?"
-----------------------------------------------
Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an airplane in the United States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed "The runway is ending!". The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the pilot screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending!"
The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again. During their fourth descent the pilot says:
"Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge, expensive airport but with such a short runaway", "I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made it."
---------------------------------------------------
Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A surprised passer-by saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
-------------------------------------------------
Once a Singh was travelling in a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train Rs20 to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for Rs 20,the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Singh fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Singh was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw himself in the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" He replied "The cheat on the train has taken my Rs 20 and woken up someone else".
----------------------------------------------------
Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went into fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. At the next railway station the driver was arrested He was found to be a Singh. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc. The authorities questioned Mr. Singh are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over. Singh said : That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.
-----------------------------------------------
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The in vigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says," it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.
---------------------------------------------
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ?" First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying & screaming. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
---------------------------------------------
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?" To this the man replies, "Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".
