Post by sweeney on Oct 3, 2011 22:24:15 GMT
While I was driving down the A40 the other day,
(going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied: "I'm late for work." To which he asked: "What do you do?" I responded: "I'm a rectum stretcher"
The copper was surprised and confused : "A rectum stretcher,
and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work
my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously : "And just
what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied : "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
(going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied: "I'm late for work." To which he asked: "What do you do?" I responded: "I'm a rectum stretcher"
The copper was surprised and confused : "A rectum stretcher,
and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work
my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously : "And just
what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied : "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
